She looks just like you, beautiful smile, big round eyes…God she is a beautiful child. It’s my little one, my bundle of joy. Yes I dream of having a baby. I even have the names lined up. If it’s a girl, Palesa, Talluah, Tatiana. If it’s a boy, Montwedi, Stembiso. I wonder if it’s for the right reasons though. Does it matter? I would someday soon like to be a mother. I feel I have a lot of love to give and to a certain extent it is imparted to people who don’t appreciate it. My Talluah.
I guess you are all wondering how I am going to accomplish that? Conception requires the seed of a man. Believe you me I have thought long and hard above it. I have even narrowed down the potential candidates. I thought of enticing my ex, given that we were in a relationship for 3 years without doing the dirty deed. However I can’t bring myself to doing it. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the male specie. I could go for artificial insemination but then that would mean I would have to get my ex to agree to it. Do I have the guts to ask that of him after I broke his heart? Why go and pay for the process when one can conceive naturally? It boils down to the fact that I can’t bring myself to engage with a man, even for little Talluah. I don’t want to pick a faceless person at the sperm bank. I want to know Talluah’s, dad. I want to be able to answer Lulu’s questions one day because kids do have an inquisitive mind. I can assure you it has got nothing to do with the fact I am getting old nor do I want to fill a void in my life. The love of a child is unconditional. It’s unassuming and sincere. Why would I want to miss the opportunity of experiencing that?
What is your take on this bloggers?
Lastly when does one stop working on a relationship and start enjoying it?
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2 comments:
I once wrote somewhere that, everytime i look at my 3 in a row, my eyes get filled with tears. And then i wrote that i wonder why that happens everytime i see them. Somebody suggested that its bcoz I LOVE THEM. Somehow i agreed.
But deep down in my heart, i know its not love that i feel for them. Its more than just love. How would you describe a feeling you get when you look at a person, and you know that, that person is standing where they are bcoz of you? They are here on this earth bcoz of you? Even up to this day, i still cant describe the feeling.
Good luck with your wish of having your own bundle of joy one day. You will. God controls everything. Somehow you will. Dont bother yourself with those endless quetions, coz God will take control. So put everything in His hands.
Hey sucker! Gues its hi time you updated now? Abeg...
You got tagged at my blog..
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