Lover + family spells disaster!!!!

My Wednesday would have been perfect until my mom told me she and sis are coming over to spend the night 5 minutes before they got to my place of residence. My first reaction was to call Nana and warn her but I didn’t have credit on my mobile. Luckily she arrived before the family rocked up. Whilst we were contemplating how to go about the situation, Mom and sis waltzed into the flat without a care in the world. ‘I can’t stay, I need to figure out were I am going to sleep tonight”. I watched her leave on the pretext that she was going to the gym. I didn’t feel like cooking because I had to feed the couple, I didn’t feel like making small talk but I had to indulge family. It was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to be in the mist of my lady. I was worried sick, didn’t know were she went and I felt bad about the situation at hand. Id planned to spend a quiet evening with Nono. She looked physically drained and I was emotionally drained but there I was wearing a fake smile trying to entertain my family whilst my lady was wondering around during the night trying to find a place to sleep. I felt like my face was about to crack thanks to the fake smile. I called her but we got into an argument. Called her again but her mobile was busy. When I finally got through to her the argument ensued. RP: Where are you? Nono: I am ok. RP: Where are you? Nono: I said I am ok. It sounds like you are traveling. I hope you are not making your way to Pretoria to fetch me. RP: I am at home. Where are you in Pretoria? Nono: I said I am ok. Look sisi I am not a kid I can look after myself! Do you honestly think I would deliberately put myself in danger? I hope you’re not on your way to PTA because if you are I will leave and find somewhere else to spend the night. RP: You clearly don’t know me. How could you think I would follow you? I am merely worried about you? Nono: Well I am at my cousin’s place at ……………..I sent you an sms to that effect. RP: I didn’t receive it. Nono: Goodnite. I stood there motionless, enveloped by the dark. Felt like crying but the tears defied me. I felt like screaming but I couldn’t find my voice. Why do I care too much. Yes it is too much if it bothers the next person or makes her feel like I am treating her like a child. I put on the plastic smile, went back to cooking like a robot. I wanted time alone to wallow in my misery, digest that which transpired. Finished cooking. The food was unpalatable but I had to force it down my throat because my stomach was making funny noises. My phone rang. Nono: Hi. You are not angry with me right? RP: No Nono: I am not angry with you too. RP: Ok (silence) Nono: Goodnite RP: Goodnite (silence) Nono: I love you RP: Me too. For once I didn’t have much to say to her. I went through a rollacoster from worry to anger and I finally settled for sadness. Yes I was sad. I am still sad. Usually we sms crazily till the early hours of the morning but I didn’t have the energy nor the motivation to do that. I just wanted to escape from this feeling that was eating at me, sadness.

Nono tell me to stop caring I will but I don’t know how to love with out caring.

Mom and sis, in future please let me know of your decision to visit in advance please. I am a 30 yr old with a life. How did you expect us all to spend the night in a 1 bedroom flat. Like Nono and I would sleep in the same bed as my sister!! Why does our relationship have to be treated differently to that of a heterosexual relationship? I know you are trying to make sense of it all ma but please let me live my life. Yes I am selling my car. My being the operative word. No we can’t change cars everytime you don’t have fuel in the car. If you are the custodian of my car and you want to be consulted regarding the sale, then take the car for service. You can’t reap the benefits without paying for the associated costs. That’s family for you. I am in such a somber mood today. The weather doesn’t help too. I want to shut the door to the world and dream..