That's mother for you.....

I am getting a cold breeze from my mom. I guess it’s partially because of what transpired last week and any other “issues” that she may have. Mother’s tactic is to give one the cold shoulder and literally spit fire when she is nice and ready. She is always the victim, rarely listens and she is always right. I am scheduled to go to Pretoria this weekend. My sister is moving to JHB to commence varsity. Yes I ensured that she secured her own apartment. I don’t want to get old before my time. The “issues” probably revolve around my sister and the fact that I didn’t participate in the whole process of preparing for varsity. Correct me if I am wrong but my sister is exactly that my sister, not my child. I am not obligated to do things for her; I do everything because I want to. However my mom and family have made it an obligation. To hell with the fact that when she took my car, it had traveled 7300km and it’s currently reflecting 16100km within 2 months. To hell with the fact that I risked my job, surrendered my company car to her and sis to use whilst in Botswana for 5 days. To hell with the fact that I sacrificed a lot financially to see my sister through High School because mom and hubby weren’t working. Mother was busy chasing a dream (they change every year) whilst the rest of us were slaving away putting up with all the garbage at work to feed two households. I marvel at the fact that she is quick to judge yet she is far from perfect. I marvel at the fact that she believes my family is trying to control my life yet she is the mastermind behind it all. When I moved to JHB it was to build a nest in a familiar surrounding. Her argument is I moved to be with family. Does that require my clocking in every weekend, am I obligated to call everyday, am I now expected to move back home and build a home with my mother (which is what she has been preaching). What am I missing here guys?

This is the same woman who drilled it into my head that I was stupid, and that she wanted to give me up for adoption when I was young. That was traumatic for me and yes I believed I was stupid to the extent that I didn’t make an effort to excel in Primary school. I kept busy with extra mural activities. I just made it through Primary School even though I attended a renowned Primary school. I believed that I wasn’t worth loving and there was something wrong with me because my mother wanted to give me up. I looked to other women especially teachers to obtain that love that I didn’t have from my mom. When I went back to live with my grandma she rarely called. Didn’t want me to visit during the holidays her excuse being there were trainee miners in the town. Tell me again which place has no men? She didn’t even have the audacity to tell me that she was getting married to the abusive man that she lived with. I went to visit my grandma during one of the weekends when I was at boarding school only to find that it was my mom’s wedding celebration!!!! I am who I am because I wanted to prove to my family that I can make something of myself, I am a force to be reckoned with. That inspired me throughout my studies. Where was my mother when my father did that which he did? It was very simple. She could have told me about the man and spared me the pain. But then of course she had to be selfish. Yes I am angry; I have a right to be angry. What gives her the right to make my life miserable? All I want is to be left alone to live life.

Ma: So how did you plan to service your car given that you are broke (This is the same car that she is driving)
RP: I am awaiting rental from my current tenant. They usually pay late. Thus I won’t be able to service the car on Friday
Ma: So what should we do. We need a car to run around buy things for your sis and take her stuff to varsity? (Icy tone)
RP: You can use my company car. I will catch a ride with Nono until I have serviced my car.
Ma: No its fine. I just wanted to ask you that question.
RP: Ok. Like I said my co car available
Ma: We will see what to do

People please assist. What was the reason for the question? It was her a way of trying to pick a fight but I didn’t give have that opportunity. Yes she is on the war path. I tend to wonder if she will ever appreciate that which I do or maybe Im getting the wrong end of the stick, she is entitled to it all.

30 minutes later…..

RP: Hello
Ma: what should I do with your matric clothes?
RP: (Hmm???) Leave them in the wardrobe.
Ma: Are you crazy, I am moving to Botswana (Says a person who hasn’t done anything to indicate her moving to bots)
RP: Ok, I will fetch them in due course
Ma: Come and fetch your stuff!!!