This piece was inspired by one of my favourite writers Iyanla Vanzant
Yesterday I cried......
I let it flow with all the anger, frustration, and bitterness.
I cried for all the times when I was too much of a coward to cry.
I cried for the times when I spent the day sitting by the phone waiting for my mom to call and say Happy Birthday only to find that she has forgotten the day and my age,
I cried for the father whose love and approval I yearned for only to find that he was not worthy of any emotion including hatred from me,
I cried for that shy little girl, who feared anything and everything under the sun,
I cried for all those beatings that I got from teachers and fellow students during high school because I couldn’t stand up for myself,
I cried for the life that I lived as a caged bird yearning to go out and play and be the child I was,
I cried for the boyfriend that I lost to my best friend, for his stupidity, her jealousy and my naivety,
I cried for the child who was forced to go to church and the woman who found God,
I cried for the brothers that I have that I will never know,
I cried for my grandfather and uncle, for their souls and absence in this world
I cried for my grandma ever so faithful and loving to a man who abused and divorced her and had children outside the marriage,
I cried for my mom who went through the same abuse yet she remained committed to my stepfather and blamed everyone else but him for his actions,
I cried for the stepfather that made me hate him for putting my sister through it all,
I cried for the cousins that I never got to know because the mother decided to keep them away from the family after the divorce,
I cried for all the divorced individuals in the family, for the fear that our generation has, for all those broken relationships,
I cried for all the men I hurt in my quest to find myself,
I cried for the friends I lost because they couldn’t look beyond the person I am dating and realize that I’m still the person they established a relationship with,
I cried for the time I failed my honours even though Id sacrificed everything inorder to complete my studies,
I cried for the ex-girlfriend (NM) that tried to commit suicide by jumping off the 6th floor in my presence in the “name of love”
I cried for the Indian ex-girlfriend (PS) who isnt brave enough to break free and live her life because of her family, religion, culture etc.
I cried for my partner and her estrangement from her family,
I cried for the abundance of love that I have for her,
I cried for the child that is yet to be conceived and the mother who is yearning to hold her little one in her arms,
I cried for the period I didn’t have a job, when I watched my life crumble in front of me,
I cried for the mother that I knew and loved (grandma) that disowned me because of my sexuality,
I cried for all those innocent women and children, who are raped and murdered daily in South Africa,
I cried for my tortured soul.
Yes I cried. A perennial river, forever flowing....
Today I cried for a new dawn, a new beginning with all its challenges.
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4 comments:
It is so sad that the ppl that you expect you to accept you for who you are or what you are are normally the first to reject you but in times some of them come back - so don't loose hope.
About broken families: I have noticed an upsurge in broken families in Africa, I have often wondered why that is. Is it because of the loss of traditional values, or because people are spending more time chasing after money - what is it exactly??
Inyanla rocks! I read her biography a couple of years ago and I cried.
But she eventually found her self...you know what I mean??
Wow! Beautiful.
It tends to be lonely at times however I dont need friends like that Pam. Atleast I know were I stand.
Society is evolving. Women have taken a stand and established their independence.Men have lost their power over women.
Yeah Iyanla rocks
Thanks jaybabe. one day soon I will gain the courage to reveal my true identity. Time is all I ask for.
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